


Of efficiency and accidental world domination

by DearCat



Series: Of dad!Kisuke and unconventional parenting [3]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Accidental World Domination, Gen, Humor, give hime a break, he's overworked, oblivious kisuke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-25 11:19:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19744666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DearCat/pseuds/DearCat
Summary: Kisuke would like to state for the record that 1) he's got too much to do to worry about this tiny little details and 2) he's obviously great at his work regardless so kindly get over it. Or he might just seek his kids on you.





	Of efficiency and accidental world domination

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy!

There was a time when Kisuke would have thought himself to be a fairly observant person. Both by virtue of being a former assassin and a scientist. Those days are sadly over. The first hit to that belief of his came when he finally realized he adopted his brats without even meaning to. Or realizing that he did it. 

The second?

Well, the second happened in far more embarrassing circumstances. It starts with the lieutenants of every division showing up at regular intervals on his shop. Kisuke thinks nothing of this. After all, he’s their elder, mentor to a group they respect and his plans have led them to victory more than once.

He gets a little weirded out when some paperwork ends up in his office but he lets that one go too. He enjoys that his suggestions are finally being taken seriously so he doesn’t really care about the extra work. 

And if the people working on said suggestions are a little deferential, he doesn’t particularly care nor does he pay much attention to it. He’s a busy man with a veritable gang of troublesome children under his wing. There are things to do, places to be, objects to explode and science to be made. He has no time for them. 

These messengers mean nothing to him and as long as they don’t give him trouble, he cares nothing for their attitude. Good or bad. And his children are overprotective, he figures that’s all it is and moves on. These people are probably just covering their bases. Tatsuki can be surprisingly creative in her vindictiveness.

It becomes undeniable when the Captain Commander himself shows up with Soifon in tow. They even make sure to let Kisuke know beforehand that they’ll be arriving at the shop. Kisuke has their appointment pencilled in right before lunch. It’s Kisuke’s last appointment before they leave for Kukaku’s. 

Soifon’s dislike for him is widely known, not that it has ever bothered Kisuke. It’s mostly jealousy and pettiness over the woman’s hurt pride so, in all honesty, it’s funnier than anything else. Kisuke actually enjoys provoking her, as mean spirited as that may seem. 

But Soifon is not rising to the bait. Oh, it’s obvious she wants to. Her expression is as frigid as her posture. If she grounds her teeth harder, she might just break them. And still, she’s not rising to the bait. Every time it feels like she might finally snap, one of his kids shows up out of nowhere. 

Kisuke’s on to them.

Right now, there's Chad glowering at her as he stands behind Kisuke’s left shoulder. Kisuke thinks the whole thing is adorable, if unnecessary. Kisuke is deadly all on his own. But he likes to indulge them so he smiles casually at the half-mexican before he turns to try and figure out another way to make Soifon break. 

It turns out, he doesn’t need to.

“Urahara…” His name is almost hissed out as she clenches her hand tight enough to break the cup of tea in her hand. 

Kisuke only watches, rather fascinated by the change. Soifon screams and threatens violence every time he sees her, it’s so interesting to watch her hold that back. Unsuccessful though it is. 

The sound of the ceramic breaking is enough to draw Orihime to his office. She sends a disapproving look Soifon’s way even as she moves to reject the damage done to Kisuke’s cup. Kisuke isn’t sure why she bothers, the amount of explosions in the house means that nothing breakable lasts for long.

No matter. He thanks Inoue with a cherry smile but he doesn’t get the opportunity to try to further figure out Soifon’s change because the Captain Commander’s voice cuts through his musings. 

“... and so, Urahara-san, we hope to have your approval for our proposal.”

Kisuke blinks, a little surprised. Their proposal? Well… Ok. He’s not sure why it’s needed and he only has a general idea of what it consists of, what with him not really paying the commander’s speech any attention. So Kisuke goes for the failsafe. “I’m going to need to look at the numbers.”

He hopes there are numbers.

“Of course, Urahara-san,” with that the pair of captains bow to him and leave his office, leaving Kisuke to look blankly at their backs.

It dawns on Kisuke then and all he can do is throw back his head and laugh. Take that Aizen! And Kisuke wasn’t even trying.

**Author's Note:**

> Is anybody interested in Kukaku/Kisuke? Because I'll do it.


End file.
